An memory stuck of when i was in a restaurant in Lima airport in Peru (Named: Tanta) before i was about to board my flight. A waiter walked upto me as i was finishing my amazing main meal, i was pretty full and he asks me “you want desert amigo?” . I rapidly shake my head smiling, “no im ok thanks” (because we as humans are so used to saying no and get on the defensive when anyone speaks to us or offer us anything in life! )
Then he says, “are you sure? I can bring them to you and show you?”, So i say no “no i’m ok”. And he smiles and goes away respectfully.
I later see him offering another table and they say yes to seeing the deserts. He then brings this gigantic multi-tiered tray over with every single desert, i was pretty impressed ! He then begins to describe every single item with the most artistic and delicious descriptive language. I was even more impressed and felt my mouth water, but i still didn’t want any desert
He then hands them the cutest tiny spoons and offers to let them try a tempting piece of every desert on the menu. Wow, now i was really impressed, not only by the offer to try the deserts, but also by seeing the customers faces light up by how kindly he was treating them. He was laughing, being curious about their lives and demonstrating pure class.
I then call him over and get the same level of treatment that he gave to them, selfless and pure joy for what he was doing. Delivering happiness without expecting anything in return, i could have eaten all of the desert samples and said no. But he was talking to me about my interests, my life, my trip, and he was openly sharing his too so it was a two way exchange. and finally he asks, “which do you like best?” I say chocolate, and he says “would you like to order one?” And i mutter hmm, and he notices me checking the time and asks me “you could take it away if you don’t have much time to eat it here? 🙂”
I ordered the desert and decide to eat it there, the experience helped me to slow down and realise that there is no need to rush to my flight gate.
The cake wasn’t even that great, but it tasted so much better because i was awestruck over the experience i was having with this man (but really with myself), it was life giving and commendable beyond words. I boarded my flight with a glow, again not because of the sugary treat in my stomach, but because of the sweet taste in my heart.
Be the waiter, drop yourself and you become yourself. Everything becomes effortless because you are just serving by being willing to be wrong, judged, laughed at and rejected. Some may take it, some may not, but if you can be the shining light in someones day, you can elevate them beyond their imagination. Drop the need for “being someone”, and you become everyone.
There is no dominance or hierarchy in society, i believe that we must all be powerful leaders yes, but so was the waiter, he led me wonderfully, he showed me that i was misunderstanding. He led me without expectation or ego.
Wait on people, lower yourself off a pedestal, serve them, offer them menu items constantly without the need to receive a yes.
How dare you EXPECT another human to say yes? Our first words are no, ever been around a screaming child! All they will say is no! So you must earn the right to receive a yes, you must show them that yes is an option if they can see past the auto-no, but if you aren’t willing to help people see by giving them a detached non-egoic service, how dare you become offended when people don’t resonate?
That means you are in it for YOU, you don’t really care about them. That’s Self-Service. From this place, you will not create success and happiness in life, and if you do, it will be inauthentic and that will create some kind of karmic effect on another area of your life.
The one thing i have learnt about life is that we must connect to the greater whole. It has much more potential than playing from the world of our “self”. Its like driving a bicycle vs a Ferrari. When you let go of yourself and connect to the highest version of you, you aren’t really “yourself” anymore. You are the bigger picture, the intelligence of life, the thing that allowed einstein and the greatest musicians and scientists to change the world, that’s the potential of this service focused life, its not forced, its an expression of nature.
Lose yourself, and you win.
So — How did you find this article? I hope you enjoyed my story. I love recalling insightful moments from my life.
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Love, Raj