I get to introduce myself as an author now. I do it from time to time, and the reaction is the same. Wow.
People think it’s amazing, to write a book. To digital nomad around the world. To have a great body. To have spiritual wisdom, to be calm, to speak confidently. To start a human empowering business.
All the things I’ve become good at.
It’s funny though, because these are all the things I always wanted.
So what I did, was go and create them all.
How do we create anything we want? Let me tell you what I’ve learnt from my experiences.
1) Focus on Process vs Goal
Research, learn, understand the science/mechanisms of process vs goal. Process is what turns chocolate into chocolate. Or as my mum says after she makes amazing food — “eating is easy, but the cooking is hard work”.
2) Gain Experience Through Action
I had social anxiety for all of my life. Speaking on a stage (confidently) was a goal that seemed impossible, yet inside, I knew I had it in me.
I went to public speaking school, and the thing the coach said to me was “the only way to get good at public speaking, is to speak”. He’s right. The only way to travel, is to travel. The only way to build a fit body, is to do it. As my mum said, cooking is the work, the result is enjoyed for a moment only. It’s also one of the key lessons in Bhagvat Gita, focus on the work, not the prize.
3) Go beyond your limit
Having said that. I have seen many unfit guys in the gym, who have been “working” for years. I ask them about their routine, and it’s often a floating around, use their phone between sets, comfortable (warmup like) use of gym. Lazy shit, I want to shout at them. Sorry if that’s rude, but it’s the coach in me who wants people to maximise their energy. Every single one of my clients has been happy with me pushing them. If they aren’t then they will get in the way of their own liberation.
4) Precision is key
There’s nothing sexy about wearing your pants on your head, and your hat on your feet. It’s odd, it’s messed up, not in order. It’s the same thing with a workout, with an action, a business plan. In yoga it’s the masterful art of “sequencing”. The sequence is the key, as every move adds to the next. If you do a sun salutation, then randomly do an arm balance, without any build up, it’s a mess. Injury, not as effective flow of energy, time waste I’d say.
Yes. The common thing of “just show up”, “just go to the gym”, “just post online to attract clients” is stupid. There must be an effective plan, a strategy. One that is precise. Masterful actually. Master plans, make masterful results.
5) Drop overthinking though
Now, modern marketers feed off my last point. To give people a “21 day action plan”. Because, we want plans. I even told you, to have a plan!
However, don’t get stuck in this world. And overthink it, sit there planning all day. As Mike Tyson said “a plan is good, until you get punched in the face”.
So plans are good, but action is key. Loads of introverts like me hold back on action, speaking their voice, showing themselves fully. Cos they get lost in the logical brain.
Plans can come from fear, and plans can come from power. Power plan, act, results, adjust. This is what we call Kaizen, and agile development in my world. I was an analyst, project manager, 6 figure consultant, and what I always did, was to tell the business to do it bit by bit, in phases, adjusting along the way.
6) Have fun!!
Life is making love making enjoyable for god sake. For a reason? If the very act of making children is enjoyable, why let anything else be a drag. I am not saying child birth isn’t painful, (I know… I am not a woman!!), however, it’s pain and pleasure isn’t it? Beautiful.
The pleasure, actually is higher, when there’s the flipside of the pain. I find that quite often.
Fun. Joy. As a process of creating, of making our goals happen. Wow, what a blessing. Even the hardships, will be fun, once they are overcome. We LOVE problem solving as humans, not just men, woman too. Creative, simple, solutions. Puzzles. It’s actually why we overthink (ever thought of it that way???). We overthink, cos we are trying to find a solution. So how about that power, that tool, is for us, vs against us. Enjoyable, vs terrible.
7) Start with one tiny action
Finally, write down the one thing you want to improve, get better at, experience, see, learn.
And commit to one TINY action. I got this from a coach I learnt from called Rich Litvin. He said, one TINY, he uses tiny as a word for a reason. To overcome the amagdyla response. This is also proven in therapy sciences, neuroscience too. There’s a therapy type I certified in called ACT. It talks about doing actions which are not going to take us over the edge of our fight flight response, but will stretch us.
This is also described in Flow science by Meeehaichekzymey (I purposely spelt his name wrong, for point number 6 – fun).
8) Decide, go, now
This is your call to be in your body, vs head. My dads a hands on guy. I talk about him a lot, cos I’ve been receiving official coaching sessions with him. (best idea ever). He’s a master when it comes to all things engineering, he did it for 50 odd years. (50!!!). He has a whole garage full of tools.
And the lesson is, using tools, requires action, hands moving, our body, doing stuff. Vs thinking about doing stuff.
What a waste of energy!!! Yes planning, precision, strategy are essential, but without action to learn from, and to be agile and improve the strategy, there is no point.
It’s like getting stood up for a date over and over again. How sad! Ready for nothing. Funnily enough, it’s this kind of feeling that disheartens us.
9) So the real final is this…
Heart up. Open your chest. It’s ok to be scared. I am the king of this. Why do you think I write all of this? In flow as well. Its from lived experience. I have been so afraid… So scared to say things, to do things. Thinking I’d be told off (psychological unconsious program). Feeling unsupported, judged. All that play, drama. Its real, it is the real cause for all the missing dreams, that die, or the unsaid words of love that we regret. The true self we hide… the true reality we miss out on.
I’ve lost chances, people, things. All from the mind that ran a program.
The only thing I can say is. Smile. I’ve got your back, I get it.
And when I say “I”. Really, its the heart of life speaking through me. It speaks to me too.
Life is loving us into the best possible feelings, intuitions, and hugs when we screw things up. Or when we are sad or tired.
Its cool.
Just don’t ignore it. It speaks to tell you something, don’t ignore it. That is the cause of suffering. It’s like ignoring the source itself. Of course it will be mad (why you feel mad, angry).
Listen, and it shall be revealed.
Life reveals itself, after we act on its wishes. Not before.
Confidence, understanding, insight — occurs after, not before.
Love you.
Raj
P.S — If you want support with this, read below.
1) 1-1 coaching — I am looking for 2 types of clients right now. Message me if it speaks to you.
A) Wealthy, successful in career, but unsatisfied. Have everything you need financially, materially, but don’t have the thing you truly want. You know what that is… so do I. I’ve met many of you, and I got what you are looking for. Promise.
B) Wanting to be a leader or changemaker, or already are. E.g a coach, like me, or are starting a business that is innovating humanity. And unsure how to make it happen, price yourself, strategy, brand, offer. And most importantly… you are not highly confident with putting yourself out there. I know. I meet MANY of you guys too. I have a program for you. You’ll be clear, confident and have a plan, actions, and push from me to get it out there.
Two examples of this are —
1) I am currently working with a guy who wishes to leave his corporate job, and is starting an AI company. It’s got huge potential. But he lacks focus and business strategy, that’s why he’s sought me out. I will clear his mental noise.
2) Yesterday I met a guy who values his location freedom like me, is very good with people, and wants to monetize that into a coaching offer. To support them with getting into action (vs worrying about what will happen). He lacks confidence, so I will give him actions to create it.
(Message me if you’d like to consult with me in a similar way)